If you thought Han Solo was numb when he was frozen in carbonite then wait until you feel your posterior after sitting for over seven hours in Cineworld on Wednesday, December 18.
Real Star Wars fans probably won’t even bother about the loss of feeling in their rears as they look forward to being the first folk in Falkirk to see the new film The Rise of Skywalker when it is shown at midnight on Thursday, December 19.
To accomplish this task – for not easy will it be – they will have to sit through the Force Awakens, which clocks in at two hours and 15 minutes, and The Last Jedi, which runs for two hours 32 minutes, before they watch the two hour 35 minute The Rise of Skywalker.
At this time in 2015 the excitement was building for the Force Awakens – the first Star Wars film since Revenge of the Sith back in 2005.
People were queuing up to be first to see the first Star Wars flick in over a decade and some of them even made the effort to dress up as their favourite characters before heading along to Falkirk Central Retail Park’s Cineworld.
The original three films – confusingly Star Wars IV, V and VI – which featured Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia, were followed by prequels – Star Wars I, II and III – which told the tale of Anakin Skywalker’s tragic defection to the dark side to become Darth Vader.
Thanks to a fan base that stretches around the world and back again, it was only a matter of time before a new film came out.
The Force Awakens introduced some new characters – the feisty scavenger Rey, former stormtrooper Finn, daredevil X-Wing pilot Poe Dameron and Darth Vader wannabe Kylo Ren – and some old favourites, including Han Solo – who they then preceded to kill off – Princess Leia and Chewbacca.
Then two years later things had calmed down a bit for The Last Jedi – people were probably still recovering from the loss of Han Solo and the tragic real life death of Princess Leia actress Carrie Fisher – but folk were still excited to see what had happened to Luke Skywalker, who was last seen helping his dad Darth Vader defeat the evil Emperor in Return of the Jedi.
Turns out Luke had turned into a grumpy old Obi Wan Kenobi-esque Jedi guru who did a lot of magical stuff before exiting stage left in a kind of Yoda-style vanishing move.
Now it all comes to an end – for now, at least – when all the unanswered questions better be at least partially answered.
And we also get the return of the second coolest dude in the Star Wars galaxy, Lando Calrissian, who will probably take his place in the cockpit of the one and only Millennium Falcon – surely sci fi’s most famous space ship after the USS Enterprise.
The last trilogy kicks off at 6pm at Cineworld on Wednesday, if your rump is up to it.
Be sure to time your toilet breaks wisely young padawans, you don’t want to feel the force when a crucial scene is about to shown.