A run in with Prince Charles’ security guard and being held at gunpoint in a Barbados taxi are just a few of what Des Clarke calls his “own goals”.
The Scottish comedian says that even when good things are happening to him, he somehow finds a way to make it all go wrong.
Now, these tales of woe and fun are some of the stories Des wants to share with audiences when he visits the town next Friday with his tour ‘The Trouble with being Des’.
The show, the radio star’s first in five years, is an extended version of his much-loved, sold-out, 25-date run at the 2014 Edinburgh Fringe.
Speaking to The Falkirk Herald, Des said: “I can’t wait to get back out on tour.
“It’s where my career began and being on stage is still the greatest buzz for me.
“I’ve been lucky enough to have a great career, but I’ve also scored some impressive own goals, so this show is joyfully self-deprecating. But, that’s just the Scottish way.
“If you can’t laugh at yourself then you can’t laugh at anyone else.”
He added: “I love playing Falkirk and that was why I really wanted a Falkirk date on this tour.
“Falkirk audiences have always got me, and despite knowing that people from Falkirk probably would travel to Glasgow and Edinburgh, there are some who might not and I want to come to them, it’s only fair.
“Everytime I’ve played in Falkirk, I’ve had a great night, so it’s always been dear to me.
“Even 10 or 11 years ago, when I had just started my career, the Stand Comedy Club used to do stalls at Falkirk and the crowd were always so supportive.”
Des started out in stand-up aged just 19 and has enjoyed a successful career across TV and radio.
He is well known as the popular presenter of Capital Radio’s Scottish breakfast show, while his latest venture sees him front a new six-part comedy series on BBC Radio Scotland called ‘Des Clarke Exposed’.
But a career highlight, undoubtedly, came last year when he hosted the closing ceremony of last year’s Commonwealth Games.
He said: “It was absolutely amazing to be part of the biggest TV event ever.
“It was watched by one billion people, and afterwards I was getting tweets from all over the world, from Africa and Botswana to Bannockburn.
“It was amazing. I was there with Susan Boyle and 50 Scotty dogs, it was just a dream come true,
“I was with 50,000 people in Hampden, no autocue and given a mic and just told to go out a talk nonsense and it was great.
“I talk about that in the show as well, a lot about what I felt before and after it and during it.”
‘The Trouble with Being Des’ is on at Falkirk Town Hall on Friday, May 1.
For tickets, contact the Steeple Box Office (01324) 506850.