Nurse, the curtains! and other stressful football fan stories: The Benchman

The Benchman reflects on Saturday’s big win and isn’t surprised to hear supporting a football club is a stressful experience.

By The Benchman
Thursday, 30th January 2020, 11:36 am
MYSTERY PICTURE: Who is this Scottish international?
MYSTERY PICTURE: Who is this Scottish international?

TWO VERY DIFFERENT HALVES: What a strange game that was. After a soporific opening period, some might have been sorely tempted to head for the warmth of the pub or living room. Even the solitary goal was a bit of a freak event. The superior fitness of full-time Falkirk eventually told and the visitors ran out of steam. Those who headed for the exits early “to avoid the rush” must have been surprised by the eventual score. The goals after 87, 89 and 92 minutes were missed by the early leavers.

IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL: The late flourish brought back memories of the Hearts v Falkirk semi-final of April 1998, when the Edinburgh side ran out 3-1 winners to reach the Final. Falkirk had matched them all the way and looked capable of taking the game to a replay before two late goals- both recorded as being in stoppage time- ended the Bairns dreams. It felt that we had been mugged.

AS GOOD AS NEW: When Louis Longridge and Declan McManus committed their futures to Falkirk, it was good news indeed. Offers from other clubs were made, but the desire of the players to remain, added to the Board’s financial support of the management team, made it a good news week. Goal-scorers are worth their weight in gold and McManus has found a rich vein of form. Ironically, he had one of his quieter games against Forfar.

GOAL OF THE SEASON?: Aidan Connolly’s first strike was an absolute cracker. A clever back- heel, and a rising volley hit with some venom was surely a contender for the selection panel to consider. Forfar keeper Marc McCallum actually had a very good game, but even he was powerless to stop the shot.

NEW FALKIRK BOOK: The Falkirk Bairns Volume Five which covers the years 2005 to 2019 should be coming out in a couple of weeks. All profits are going to Motor Neurone Disease Scotland and thanks to all those who have pre-ordered copies. The Falkirk Herald will carry details of the launch event. To reserve your copy, please text 07906 239582.

SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALL RIGHT FOR…..: Football? Playing games at that late hour is hardly fair on travelling fans, and further confirms the view that TV rules the game. Games on the hour, every hour. Adverts targeting the Far Eastern markets, shirts and shorts plastered with logos and sponsorship of everything from the office staff, substitute announcements to toilet fittings. If it moves-sell it.

ANSWERS: Last week’s mystery schoolboy was Paul McStay.

STRESSFUL EXPERIENCES: Wow! Watching football can seriously damage your health- according to recent academic research. That’s a bombshell. Will we win promotion? Will we get relegated? Will we have a cup run? Will we get in? Can we get out? Are there any pies left?
 It’s all too much. Nurse- the curtains!!!!!