The Benchman: Heads will roll if Falkirk lose on Bastille Day

Mystery Pic: Who is this Diamond Geezer?
Mystery Pic: Who is this Diamond Geezer?

Chris Waddle played few games for Falkirk - but as this year’s World Cup representative, he’s a stand-out... pundit.

TOP THAT: Not since the days of Super-Cally Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious has there been such a frenzy of headline writing. The Luis Suarez biting incident unleashed creative talents across the world. My favourite was the Huffington Post’s “Chewy Luis in the News”.Subtle- and brilliant.

GET A LIFE: The papers are full of news about the events in Brazil and what do we get in The Scotsman? Only a full page about a hand gesture from Australia’s Ryan McGowan. Lining up against Holland, he made a gesture behind his back indicating 5-1. Cue in-depth analysis by Edinburgh’s finest and the implications for Hearts and Hibs fans. Parochialism taken to a new level.

TONGUE TWISTER: It was the result all announcers hoped would happen. Forfar 4 East Fife 5. Maybe we could get close on July 14 at Station Park. Forfar 4 Falkirk 5 might test a few newsreaders, although I suspect that given the significance of the date, a few heads might roll if The Bairns shipped four goals to Dick Campbell’s men.

RONALDO: The look on the great Portuguese player’s face said it all as he trooped off the park after the game against Ghana. Some brilliant individuals are destined never to reach the latter stages of the World Cup. George Best, John Charles, Denis Law and Lev Yashin to name a few. It is a team game, but these guys couldn’t carry a whole team on their shoulders.

PUNDITRY: Some of the comments from the so-called experts are bland and statements of the obvious. Come back Brian Clough, Derek Dougan, Pat Crerand and Malcolm Allison. Now that was a panel-and an excellent “referee” in Brian Moore. Adrian Chiles? The only guy with any real passion is Chris Waddle- an ex-Bairn of course.

AHEAD OF HIS TIME: Not a description of the great Willie Whigham You might think? Wrong. When the Falkirk players returned for pre-season training , all of them were told to do laps of the track round Brockville and go for cross-country runs.Willie’s response was “For goodness sake boss (I paraphrase slighty)- I’m the ******* goalie!” Fast forward to 2014 and we have specialist goalkeeping coaches and the keepers train on their own. Chris Waddle commented on his time at Marseilles where there were separate training regimes depending on your position. Willie- you were right!

TEASER: Name two players who came to Falkirk from Stoke City?

SIGN OF THE TIMES: Says it all really when the press see hopeful signs for England after they managed to hold the mighty Costa Rica to a goal-less draw. The Premiership is the richest league in the world, but where are the English players? Greg Dyke is right to suggest radical changes.

ANSWERS: The picture was Joe Jordan in action against Iran in the 1978 World Cup in Argentina. Kenny Dawson was signed from Third Lanark when he returned to Brockville.