On The Wing: No crystals in this Peterhead maze – but more reason for silverware

I’ll hold my hands up and admit it. That’s what people do to try and minimise the impact of a video about to go viral on the internet, isn’t it?

Yes it is me in the video. And no I am not proud of what I did and will strive to never repeat it again.

But in my defence, Peterhead’s Balmoor Stadium is unusual – in keeping the press INSIDE the confines of the pitch, rather than out of it.

I found out to my cost, and many on Facebook’s amusement (thanks Lewis of Falkirk TV) on Saturday.

Dilligently following photographer Michael Gillen who “knew where he was going from the last time” we walked down the tunnel. Aiming for the press seating on the opposite side I walked round the pitch to what looked a gap in the hoardings. It wasn’t.

“How do I get through?” I asked the ball attendants. I’m not sure what the full response was. I stopped listening after two words “You crawl...” and one pointed underneath a sponsor’s board.

A walk back round from whence I came offered no other alternatives to get back on the side of Joe Public and eventually a loose barrier aided an escape from pitchside to the away end and Falkirk fans.

Having already wandered about for ten minutes and staggered under the barrier I thought was hinged (it wasn’t) I got to the stand and to the press area ... that was behind a fence to keep the rival fans apart.

A shimmy (ok a terrified shuffle) along a metal ledge and a step on a roof and I managed to get to work intact, though pride broken when I saw the laughter from the TV gantry – they’d had the same issues as me back in August!

They didn’t repeat it and I don’t intend to either – another good reason to get out of this league!