The Benchman takes a wry look at Falkirk’s trip to New Douglas Park and other football news.
ALL THE LATEST HITS: ‘New’ Douglas Park should be subject to the Trades Description Act if the selection of music was anything to go by. I thought we were back in the 1960s judging by the songs. The last straw was ‘Splish Splash I was Having A Bath’ which hadn’t been heard since pies were 6d. and you got into Brockville for 1/-.
LAST WEEK’S TEASER: The player who didn’t have a single vowel in his surname was Charlie Lytwyn who played in the 80s.
LAST WEEK’S PIC: Did you recognise the Scotland stars warming up? They were Bertie Auld, Billy Hunter, Davie Wilson and John White.
TRY THIS ONE: When your tax demand arrives from HMRC, just tell them that the country needs you to survive. Ask Mr Salmond and Mr Cameron to speak up for you. I’m sure we’ll all come and visit you when you are sewing the mail-bags or making wooden toys.
TEASER: Which former Falkirk player was known as Mowgli?
FALKIRKTV BLACKOUT: The mystery of the black-out which denied exiled Bairns fans the chance of seeing the match from New Douglas Park deepens. Beers had been chilled in Chile and burgers cooked in the Cook Islands. No picture. Buffering. More buffering. Then the news. No live TV. Falkirk fans in France, Finland and the Faroes should be grateful for whoever pulled the proverbial plug. They were spared 90 nerve-shredding minutes as Falkirk struggled.Highlights could have been condensed into a Twitter message.
BAD MEMORIES: Some of the events at Ibrox brought back memories of the night it was announced that Falkirk were in provisional administration. The town rallied round and the club was saved. Will Rangers be saved?
BO’NESS FOR ME: What does it tell you that Scott Christie preferred to stay at Bo’ness United and keep his Council job rather than move to Hamilton Accies as a full-time professional? It tells you that he is a sensible lad and can see where his priorities should be.
AHEAD OF THE SCORING: Well done to Falkirk skipper Darren Dods for breaking his record for goals scored in a season. That’s six so far and we are only in February. Now then, how about Darren scoring the winner up at Victoria Park after a mazy 50 yard dribble and rising volley from the edge of the box?
MYSTERY PIC: How many players and officials can you name in this picture?
DIGGING IT OUT: It might not have been pretty to watch, but it was some result when you consider the events in Dingwall and Dumfries. The team looked jaded and tired after the recent run of games, but they really dug deeply and you couldn’t deny their determination and grit.
BENCHMARKS: Match rating: 6 Team rating: 6 Opposition: 7 Referee: McLean 7 Best Bairn: Michael McGovern