Benchman: Never mind the Seaside Leagues, what about the Soccer Sixes?

Mystery Pic: Who is this player?
Mystery Pic: Who is this player?

The Benchman looks forward to the Bairns trips to the ‘fleshpots’ of Peterhead, Stranraer and Methil... but worries about the playing numbers.

REALISM: Typical. The Scotland Women’s team are being criticised in some quarters for their narrow defeats by England and Japan. Look at the relative FIFA standings of these countries! England are among the current favourites, while the Japanese side are former winners. The same “experts” didn’t expect the Scottish men’s side to do anything against Belgium, because of the difference in the FIFA standings.

LOOKING HIGH, HIGH, HIGH: The debate about the quality of goalkeeping in the women’s game continues. Some want to see the size of the goals reduced, which would surely reduce the quest for parity with the men’s game. Schools Football has a different size pitch, playing time and weight of football. Certainly, the nonsense of the 13-0 score between the USA and Thailand added to the debate, but few remarked on the fact that Sukyana Chor Charoenying, the Thailand keeper, was 5ft. 5ins. tall. Every high shot was a goal.

EXCITEMENT BY-PASS: Falkirk fans have had their hopes raised and dashed with a succession of marketing slogans in recent years. Our Time. The Next Level. Our Team-Our Town. What about 2019? It is a sorry state of affairs when we didn’t have a team or a new strip by the third week in June. We don’t know who will be owning, managing or running our club. The only highlights will be the release of the league fixtures and we can plan journeys to the exotic fleshpots of Peterhead, Stranraer and Methil.

WHAT PLAYING STAFF?: Never mind the Seaside League, at times Falkirk were struggling to field a side in the Soccer Sixes. The departure of Paul Paton added more pressure to get the club’s management and ownership stabilised, so that we can make some sort of progress. The sticking plaster approach to the current crisis is hardly geared to inspire confidence.

ANSWERS: Last week’s mystery player was Bobby Robson.

THE BLAZERATTI: Bonnyrigg Rose applied for SFA membership. They were refused and told there was no right of appeal. “Shurely Shome Mishtake” as one of their former players Sean Connery might have said. Their floodlights were installed on June 4 and now they’re allowed membership. Wonder how many blazers were in France for the Women’s World Cup...

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY: Those who don’t think players head to the USA for a final pay-off might like to see the reported salaries of some high- profile stars. LA Galaxy’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic was paid £5.6m. Scotland’s Johnny Russell earned £1.34m, while cash-strapped Wayne Rooney struggled through with a mere £2.76m.