BENCHMAN: I'll have what Elvis and Marilyn are having...

200 AND COUNTING

Well done to Mark Kerr on joining the exclusive 200 Club. Given the number of short-term contracts, and the involvement of agents trying to move their clients on, the numbers eligible to join will probably become fewer and fewer. It seems only yesterday that he was a young 14 year old with Ian “The Cat” McIntyre in the Bairns youth set-up.

ARE WE STILL BARCELONA?

Remember that newspaper headline? The player concerned was Neil Scally and he appeared at the press conference on Saturday in his role as assistant to Ian McCall. He gave a good account of himself and still had that mischievous glint in his eye. Few Bairns fans will ever forget his goal at McDiarmid Park in the 2004 Challenge Cup Final against Ross County.

ANSWERS

Last week’s mystery pic was Johnny Graham and the Falkirk players who played against United and who had also worn Tangerine were Mark Kerr, John Rankin, Lee Miller and David McCracken.

SAVING YOUR VOCAL CHORDS

Everyone in the press box should club together to buy a laminated placard for one keen Bairns fan who sits a few seats along from the reporters. After every challenge, he shouts “Look at that Ref.!”You can set your watch. The placard would save his voice and give the press pack some welcome relief.

TEASER

Who did Falkirk play in the first ever floodlight friendly to be broadcast live on BBC TV in 1953?

SHIRE FOR THRILLS

If you’re looking for goals you could do worse that watching The Shire. There have been 49 goals in their nine Lowland League games so far - and that includes two 1-0 defeats! Value for money- not half!

OOR WULLIE

Well, I am waiting for the earth to open up, lightning bolts to reign down, the Loch Ness Monster and Shergar to appear in Shieldhill and Elvis and Marilyn Monroe to be seen drinking pints of Jarl in BTW. Here goes. Willie Collum actually had a good game last Saturday. OK, there were a few iffy decisions, but by and large, he did well. There I’ve said it.

MANAGERIAL OBSESSION

Why do we need the eternal close-ups of these guys prancing about like peacocks, with reporters waiting on their utterances and noting every gesture, nuance and interpreting every silence? These guys are managers for goodness sake. They don’t score goals, they don’t make saves- and there is a sneaking suspicion that many players ignore their rantings and ravings. Several of the older players will tell you that the manager was superfluous, almost a peripheral figure. Players win games. Ask Willie Whigham. When he was on his tenth lap of the park along with all the other players, he had to say to the then Falkirk manager- ”Excuse me, but in actual fact I’m the goalkeeper.” (I translate roughly.)

BENCHMARKS

Match rating: 8

Team rating: 7
Opposition: 7

Referee: Collum 7

Best Bairn: Gasparotto