Love Island: Send in the Provost of Fife to save our Shannon

Twitter erupted, Instagram drowned in shock and sad-faced emojis, and #TeamShannon mobilised for a mass march through the streets of Pitteuchar and Tanshall.

I’m fully expecting our MSPs to table emergency motions at Holyrood, and if that doesn’t work, we will parachute in Big Leish, Provost of Fife to make an appeal from the heart at the poolside while wearing his chain of office, Bermuda shorts and flip-flops.

Be warned, he has our full authority to recite a poem wot he wrote …

Nobody puts a Fifer in the corner, let alone into a taxi bound for the airport less than 48 hours after they arrive for the party.

The poor lass barely had time to unpack her bags when the text of doom telling her she’d been dumped - what was that about #bekind again? - was delivered in true reality telly style.

Having only ever watched one episode - and that’s one too many - I understand this was all to do with the bloke she coupled with them deciding he fancied being in another couple after previously ignoring two others keen to couple with him and choosing Shannon who didn’t initially flag her coupling interest to him. I think that’s right - but I may have fallen asleep and missed a crucial twist…

Shannon’s dumping was the fastest in the show’s history. I fully expect an entry in the next edition of the Guinness Book of Records to confirm this.

Will the producers add another twist and phone Treble20 taxis to get her back to the airport? Quite probably - it’s all about the ratings, and the ole’ secret return gag is an old trick.

It’s all a game - a pretty pointless and shallow one at that, but one which has a huge audience which sheds real emoji tears when their favs go out.

The value of Shannon’s short stint in Love Island will, ultimately, be measured in the most precious commodities. Insta followers.

Love Island is on ITV2 and ITV Hub from 9pm each night.

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