Grangemouth foster carers help to change children’s lives

David Morton was once a recruiting sergeant for the Black Watch – and it’s a skill that’s never left him.

These days, however, he’ll talk to anyone and everyone about why they should be a foster carer – although the question he really asks is: ‘why not’?

“If you’ve got a spare room in your house, why wouldn’t you want to change a child’s life for the better?” is his attitude.

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Why wouldn’t you want to give a child somewhere they could feel safe and secure? Somewhere they can begin to heal from whatever problems have led them there in  the first place.

“It’s incredible how many kids in care think that it’s their fault,” said David. “They’ve got this cloud of guilt hanging over them.”

David and his wife Sharon, who live in Grangemouth, are well placed to tell others about fostering, having done so for 15 years, and that’s why they agreed to take part in Falkirk Council’s new video campaign which aims to persuade people to think about it.

It began when they wanted to adopt a child – a long process that takes around two years. Why not foster in the meantime, social workers suggested?

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Sharon’s sister was a foster carer and it was something they had considered so they didn’t take much persuading.

They now have two permanent foster placements and also offer respite care to another child.

That can mean – and has meant – getting an emergency phone call at 11pm on a Friday asking if they can take a child.

The child who arrived at midnight was taken for a day out with the family the next day and treated as one of their own.

Getting out and about at the weekend is important to them.

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“My foster kids have done the West Highland Way, the Great Glen trail – any long distance walk, really,” says Sharon.

“Walking gives them reflection time and a chance to come to terms with what they’ve been through.”

Sharon has another magic ingredient that helps everyone: a routine.

“Everyone gets up, gets ready, has a breakfast and goes to work or school or higher education,” explains David.

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“Phones go off and get put in the kitchen at eight o’clock at night.

“That might be normal for most people but for some kids, they’ve never had a routine.

“It’s amazing how kids accept things if you explain to them what you’re doing and why.”

Most of the children remain in their own schools as it is the only constant in often chaotic lives, so Sharon makes a point of getting to know their teachers.

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“I go to parent’s nights, I go to sports days – if there’s an activity and families are invited, I go,” she says.

As a family, they also have ‘talk time’ every week, where everyone has a chance to say what’s bothering them or what’s gone well and where praise can be given where it’s due.

There are difficult times, of course, and having a good sense of humour gets them through, along with support from Falkirk Council’s social work team.

“The support is first-class as you’d expect from the local authority. As you get more experienced you rely on it less, but it’s good to know it’s there,” said David.  “There’s no shame in saying ‘I don’t have the skill-set to deal with this.”

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But if you’re wondering about the rewards of fostering – how about watching the children you have taken in, scared and vulnerable, passing their Highers and going on to higher education.

Or how about a boy who only stayed with you for a few weeks turning up years later with a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates. He’s now got a job, a girlfriend and is getting a flat – and he’s here to say that those few weeks made all the difference in the world to him.

“If you’re looking for a rewarding job, you won’t find anything better than fostering with Falkirk Council. It keeps both of us young and to be honest, we get more out of it than the kids do!” said David.