Falkirk tour: Author Alan Bissett gets to the bottom of what Bairns are all about

Written and performed by Alan, with live musical accompaniment from well known local musician Adam Staffard, the show asks the “most vital question of our age” – what is Falkirk all about.

Alan’s research for the show – which kicks off in falkirk Stadium at 7.30pm on Monday, January 22 – has been exhaustive.

A What the F**kirk spokesbloke stated: “Alan’s eaten numerous bar lunches in Behind the Wall. He’s searched in the archives at Callendar House for ancient scribbles by Shire fans. He’s interviewed drunken punters in the queue for City, asking – what does it mean to come from Falkirk? What does it mean to come from anywhere?

“Now he’s ready to present his findings, you can join Alan and Adam on a comical, musical, magical mystery tour through the past and present of an unremarkable,

post-industrial Scottish town that’s definitely not Stirling.”

Alan’s performances as his female alter ego Moira Bell, self-proclaimed “Falkirk's Hardest Woman”, have been a big hit with audiences for over a decade and his books, including The Incredible Adam Spark, Lads and Death of a Ladies’ Man, have also proved popular with punters far and wide.

The What the F**kirk tour will also be visiting more locations in the area, including Denny Library on Tuesday, January 23, Slamannan Community Centre on Wednesday, January 24, Grangemouth Town Hall on Thursday, January 25 and Behind the Wall on Friday, January 26.

All shows start at 7.30pm.

Visit the website for more dates and information.