Shakespearen language isn’t something I’ve ever been enamoured with or well versed in but I’ve become more familiar with it in recent weeks.
You see I’ve been using the famous playwright’s witticisms and pearls of wisdom to help me respond to some of the lip I have to endure from a couple of work colleagues who aren’t the sharpest tools in the box – let’s call them Waldorf and Statler for the time being.
One is from Fife and the other Glasgow, so you see the difficulties I have.
It all started when someone had the audacity to claim I was heartless, to which I replied, “If you prick me do I not bleed?”, much to everyone’s fall-down-laughing hilarity which puzzled me so.
I now have them eating out of the palm of my hand though. “A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!”, they cry. “Can one desire too much of a good thing?”, I ask them resplendently and with noble conviction, my chin strong and square like David Coulthard’s.
“That it should come to this!”, they state. “Though this be madness, yet there is method in ‘t”, I fire back like an Andy Murray backhand straight down the line for game, set and match.
When I want to get more sinister I use the “A man can die but once”, “So wise so young, they say, do never live long” or the “Off with his head” lines which cut them to the bone.
I then finish them off, taking the moral high ground with “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool” or “The miserable have no other medicine but only hope”.
They keep coming at me, but let me warn them of this: “I‘ll not budge an inch”. “The game is up,” my friends.