NOEL's tuning us into pet sounds

But, with the necrophile and the Brexiteer catered for, there’s still a segment of society missing out on music while they work / play.

Pets.

For animals left home alone, keeping the radio on “for company” is quite common among caring owners, although subjecting them to
Radio One may do more harm than good.

So who better to quiz on the issue than Noel Edmonds? A complex character, as intricately woven as the mind-boggling patterns on his Xmas jumpers, he may still be best-known as the bloke that gave us Mr Blobby.

Now that humans have given up on him, instead he has plans for a radio station for pets. He even plans to take this to its illogical conclusion, with a ‘Phone a Pet’ hotline where down-at-heel dog dogs – perhaps depressed at their inability to operate a mobile – can get motivational advice.

Until then, Noel’s radio station – set to launch in December – may have to do. After all, no matter how much our pooches are in need of mental health care, they’re still not allowed on the couch.