Midges are a fly in the ointment

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The news that boffins are scratching their heads to explain the sudden drop in Scotland’s midge population definitely made me take notice this week.

And, I’m sure along with lots of other people, I was delighted at the news.

For it seems the bloodsucking beasties can’t get enough of me!

I walk outside in the summer months and they make a positive, well I was going to say beeline, but I suppose it’s a midgeline for me.

Many a barbecue or outdoor gathering has been ruined as I swat the darned little critters or at least attempt to.

Despite taking all the well-meaning advice not to wear dark colours and to stay away from shady, damp areas, I’m still apparently number one attraction for the flying bloodsuckers.

All those suggestions for covering up all bits of bare flesh are useless as they are determined little guys and always seem to find the one bit of you that remains bared.

I remember once getting bitten on the eyelid and for days it was almost impossible to see as it became so swollen. And I never thought people quite believed me when they said my misshapen face was the actions of a teeny insect.

We’re always hearing warnings about what to do to prevent mosquito bites if we travel abroad and I often wonder if visitors to our shores are given the same advice about the dreaded midge.

Apparently, and I don’t know how they work this out, but it’s claimed the Scottish tourism industry is estimated to lose nearly £286 million a year by people put off from visiting our shores because of the humble midge.

But it seems something has happened this year and apparently in some parts of Scotland the midge population has dropped by as much as 95 per cent. Hurrah!

But before we get too excited it seems it may only be a brief hiatus and they could be back, bigger and just as nippy, because, according to those who are experts in these matters, if July and August are warm enough another set of midges could hatch in September.

Must be the first time I’ve not been wishing for warmer weather.

I’ve tried so many repellents but to no avail, even the once reliable Avon So Soft Lotion has apparently changed its make-up and is no longer as effective.

So it seems I’m destined to either put up with being a delicacy for the midge population or prepare to spend the summer months indoors.