Kate Livingstone: Santa's helpers are the female variety!

Who would have thought it?!

Who do they think did it, Santa’s elves and the fairy off the top of the Christmas tree?

You just need to take a look at the number of men standing four and five deep round perfume and lingerie counters on Christmas Eve to know that if we left it up to them we’d be opening presents and eating turkey in July ... if we were lucky!

I apologise to all those organised men out there, I’m told there are a few, but they are a rare breed. However, it doesn’t seem to be in the male genes to be able to plan ahead and organise things.

Ask them who scored a goal for (insert football team of choice) against their arch rivals in 1973 and they could tell you, but what their mum’s favourite chocolates are or what perfume she likes and you will be met with a blank look. Usually followed by a shrug of the shoulder and those well used words: “Oh just get whatever you think.”

Quite often you will see them standing in the queue in the supermarket to pick up the turkey, pigs in blankets, brussel sprouts etc. But that’s only because their better half has already scrutinised the order list, decided what needs to be bought to feed the hoards descending on December 25, ordered said food, paid the deposit and now the man of the house has been despatched to pick it up.

Usually it all goes smoothly. But how many times have you seen the look of bewilderment, closely followed by utter panic, when the store staff say: “Sorry we’ve run out of your chosen dessert, what would you like in its place?”

They don’t have a clue, probably don’t even know how many are coming for Christmas dinner.

My son-in-law is a lovely chap but I shake my head when I see Emma buying and wrapping the presents for their two and all their relatives, then organising the food for all the meals over the festive period. If she’s lucky he will help deliver the presents and push the trolley in the supermarket.

But of course, it all started in the North Pole.

Do you really think Santa Claus organises all the billions of gifts that arrive on Christmas morning?

Of course not. It’s Mrs Claus who is working away in the background, keeping those elves in order, checking they have all the supplies to meet the demand and ensure none of the children are disappointed.

She has a lot to answer for.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.