It Disney have to be cartoons

Fraser McGowan
Fraser McGowan

I can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema and watched an adult movie. Hold on! ... before readers get the wrong idea I should have said a grown-up movie. Phew!

From Frozen to Tinkerbell, via Rio and Big Hero 6, detour past Postman Pat with stop-offs at Peabody & Sherman and the Penguins of Madagascar, it’s been a while since I actually saw any humans on the silver screen and not animation.

With a Disney-daft five-year-old wee girl, my options are pretty limited when it comes to a Saturday afternoon cinema trip.

There is the obligatory Frozen sing-a-long in the car on the way there. Sometimes I wish she would just “Let It Go” and find another song but my eardrums are now becoming immune to it after so long. Then we arrive and it’s almost like shelling out for a three-course meal at the snacks counter.

Popcorn, big bucket. Check. Drinks (cola and water). Check. Nachos. Check. Sweets. Check. 3D glasses (if needed). Check.

After staggering under the weight of food and spilling stuff all the way up to the furthest away screen usually, she kindly opens the door for me, bless her, then it’s the game of search for your seat in the dark!

Finally settling down beneath a pile of food and jackets, it’s movie time and she sits transfixed for more than an hour while I graze through the sugar mountain on my lap.

Longing for a good thriller or even a rom-com at a push, anything really, this week I suggested to she who must be obeyed, otherwise known as the girlfriend, that we should head to the flicks without junior for a treat.

“What shall we see?” I asked like and big, excited kid. She replied quick as a flash: “Shaun The Sheep?”.

I really give up!