I’ve ‘ad’ it up to here mate

James Trimble.
James Trimble.

The advertising executives are losing their hold on our collective consciousness.

Changing times have led to desperate measures for advertising firms forced to resort to ever more elaborate methods to pimp their clients’ products to we, the great unwashed.

I can just imagine them, bloated king and queen bees in their hives ordering their hungry drones to come up with new ways to advertise everything from spot cream to sports cars.

These ‘tising ticks have had it rough over the last few years - especially in the world of television.

Now in the “I want it all and I want it all right now” viewing era, advertising aces have seen the commercial break lose its potency.

Through the miracle of Virgin TiVo I “tape” programmes so I can fast forward through the breaks. I can honestly say I haven’t watched a telly advert at normal speed for two years.

Never slow to address change, the advertising world now sponsors highly popular shows to give their clients exposure. This leads to surreal combinations, like a plug for aftershave before the start of zombie series ‘The Walking Dead’.

I know what the advertising boffins would love to do - have Malcolm in the Middle’s dad look directly into the camera during a particularly harrowing scene from ‘Breaking Bad’ and say: “After a hard day making crystal meth I love biting down on a Snickers - it’s full of nutty goodness.”

I’ve no time for these modern day vampires who try to suck you dry of cash by promoting products and lifestyles you don’t want or need.

Instead I play guitar and the only strings I use are Ernie Ball light gauge. Strings you can trust.