Flip-flops might be a state of mind, but they're far from suitable footwear says David Oliver

The suitcases have been bundled back into the attic and it's back to '˜auld claes and porridge' after the holidays.

By The Newsroom
Friday, 10th August 2018, 5:58 pm
Updated Friday, 10th August 2018, 7:03 pm
Stock image: Neil Hanna
Stock image: Neil Hanna

That’s not to say there shouldn’t be another opportunity for shorts-wearing this month, fingers crossed, but flip-flops? They are the least Scottish footwear possible. And so are their newly named associates – ‘sliders’.

Both were flip-flops until a few years ago when this new term seemed to take hold for the slip-ons with the band over your metatarsals and toes protruding. Flip-flops, I’m told, are those which wedge between the toes.

What can be more unsuitable for Scotland than a hard slice of some sort, no cushioning and no protection from gutter splashes, mould masters or jaggy nettles?

Yet I still see people wearing them — a long, long way from Spain.

On Saturday, in the early morning smirr, I could see him through the window wipers, wandering up the road with a paper under his arm, shorts and flip-flops on. I was wearing my wind-proof puffer jacket prepared for 90 minutes watching kids’ football.

Poor guy. We’re not in Cancun anymore Toto.

He did look content enough though, and if he shut his eyes, wiggled his open toes, that was the pool he was dipping his feet into, not the pavement puddle.

Maybe he was right. Maybe flip-flops are the state of mind, relaxed and on holiday-mode no matter where in the world, whatever the weather. Extending the good times.

But they’re definitely not sensible Scottish footwear, even in the summer. They’re in the suitcase, not to be seen for another year, in another country.

The old saying is ‘back to auld claes and porridge’. Flip-flops and sliders are not mentioned for a reason.