I know, I know – it’s early, but really, Greggs’ casual reply to professional ranter, rent-a-gob Piers Morgan was a masterclass in the simple put-down.
In case you missed it, it’s my pleasure to relive.
As the opinionated one frothed at the mouth about – of all things – the bakers’ introduction of a vegan sausage roll – Greggs’ social media team coolly replied: “Oh, hello Piers. We’ve been expecting you.”
And that’s exactly where they had him – when rants are kneejerk, predictable and pointless it’s time to take a long, hard look at yourself.
These days, one of my pet hates is the use of the word ‘snowflake’ to refer to young people.
Piers, and many others, throw the word around with abandon – there is a veritable blizzard of snowflakes according to Mr Morgan and co.
Their heinous, unpardonable offence is to think before they speak and try to make sure no-one is offended by what they say.
Yes, of course, it can be taken too far and do-gooders will inevitably tie themselves in knots occasionally as they try not to offend anyone.
But equally, if not more, frustrating is the loud-mouthed bleating of spoilt rich men who can’t bear the thought of even trying to see something from someone else’s point of view.
Someone who doesn’t want animals to be caged in unbearable conditions or killed in a vile, callous manner is clearly just being a spoilsport and if they really must object should do so quietly.
I am not a vegan – I am not even a vegetarian – and I have no plans to eat a vegan sausage roll.
But does that mean I have to dismiss or ridicule someone who will?
Far be it from me to deny them a convenient hot snack from a well-known bakery.
If we’re honest, most of us eat meat – and in particular the cheap meat that is in fast food – because we choose to look the other way about how it is made.
Vegans force us to confront this and so it is easier to dismiss them and bristle at their self-righteousness than admit they might just have a point.
But here’s the thing about snowflakes: when there are enough of them, they can stop trains.
And at the moment, these snowflakes are, ahem, on a bit of a roll. So watch out, Piers. They’ll be expecting you ...