Sandy's Garden ... Da Grass is Riz

I have no intention of reopening the once-common arguments regarding the authorship of this appealing piece of doggerel verse.

The opening two lines first appeared in print in New York in the 1930s and come from an apparently anonymous poem written – loosely – in Brooklynese, the dialect spoken by the lower-life residents of Brooklyn.

The second half of this version of the rhyme was grafted on after a few years later. Some authorities claim it was the American humorous poet Ogden Nash.

I was told a long time ago Glasgow cartoonist and humourist Bud Neill was responsible.

Whatever, it’s the words, “Da grass is riz,” which are relevant to these musings.

Its English equivalent would be, perhaps, “The grass is growing.”

My neighbours and I are experiencing a mild case of ‘frost heave’.

In search of a non-technical explanation of this term, I found this in the website of SunCo, a lawn-care company in the American mid-west.

“Frost Heave: the uplift of water-saturated soil or other surface deposits due to expansion on freezing; a mound formed by frost heave, especially when broken through the pavement of a road.

Frost heaving occurs when soil is subjected to on and off periods of freezing and thawing. The cold air penetrates down through the soil to the area of warmer soil and moisture, which then freezes and forms layers called an ‘ice lens.’ This causes the cold air from above to press down while the frozen soil beneath pushes up.”

Along the solid edges of my artificial front lawn, where there is no chance of the freezing foundation on which the artificial grass carpet is laid expanding sideways, it does the only thing it can do: it pushes up – just a little, but enough to raise the edges a good 25mm in places – say, an inch in old money.

This does definitely spoil the look of the lawn’s usually immaculate boundaries. Hopefully, when the thaw is complete, these hard edges will sink down to their former positions, or, if they don’t go back of their own accord, I shall be able to encourage them to do so.

But along the outer edge of the pavement, where the … to put it bluntly … somewhat inadequate surface laid quickly by a contractor from furth of the Falkirk district several years ago has allowed water penetration, particularly along the ‘join’ … I use the word loosely … between the blacktop and the kerbing, the blacktop has been forced up and has crumbled.

These bituminous fragments will not … cannot … settle back down. It looks to me as if repairs are necessary; and who knows where the money will come from?

Gardeners, choosing the first mild day to check that frost heave has not lifted some of the root balls of your cherished plants and left them proud of the soil would not be the worst idea you have ever had. It shouldn’t take long to put right; and it won’t cost the earth!