The Benchman: Remember Francis Jeffers?

Can you name this former Falkirk player and future sportswriter? Tweet your answer @FalkirkHeraldSp
Can you name this former Falkirk player and future sportswriter? Tweet your answer @FalkirkHeraldSp
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In a first for HeraldSport, one of our writers has taken issue with the Lord Lyon. The Benchman explains why.

ON THE BALL? ABSOLUTELY: On the way through to the Bet Butler Stadium, I was listening to BBC Radio Scotland’s ‘Off the Ball’ and a fascinating interview with Scotland goalkeeper Gemma Fay, who has won 182 caps. She gave a frank insight into the mental approach needed to be a goalkeeper, and how events in your personal life can impact on your performance in sport. Well worth digging out on iPlayer.

Freezing. Miserable. Dumbarton on a dull, dreich day. What you need is some lively music to cheer you up

AFF WI HIS AIRM! There are times when you need to check your watch and see if it is April 1 or not. Apparently, the Lord Lyon Court of Arms has taken an interest in the old Airdrieonians badge. The Lord Lyon is responsible for overseeing state ceremonial in Scotland and for registering coats of arms. The terrible crime committed by those terrible people in Airdrie is to have a badge that has the letters A.F.C. In their club badge. If it goes all the way, the Lord Lyon can instruct the removal of the illegal heraldic badges. Those with Airdrie tattoos be warned.

BAIRNS AS BOSSES: John Prentice, Bobby Brown, Willie Ormond, Alex Ferguson, Andy Roxburgh, Craig Brown and George Burley - all played for Falkirk and all managed Scotland. Is it a world record? Someone claimed it was and it wasn’t the Falkirk programme editor, despite what Tam Cowan and Stuart Cosgrove said on their show.

HARRY KANE: Talk about hype? The young Spurs striker comes on as a substitute and scores a goal within 80 seconds. Cue mass hysteria. He is going to be the best ever England striker, making Lawton, Lofthouse, Charlton, Lineker and co. look mere mortals. He can walk on water, tame lions and save the planet. Scoring on his debut. Hang on a minute. Two words. Francis Jeffers.

DREAMING OF 1958? What a result that was for Wales. Can they make it to a major finals for the first time since 1958? Back then,the Charles and Allchurch brothers, Jones, Kelsey, Tapscott and co. were so close to making it all the way. Credit to Chris Coleman for taking them so close this time around.

ANSWERS: The mystery Santa was the late Emlyn Hughes. Falkirk signed Lee Bullen from Sheffield Wednesday.

TEASER: Who were Falkirk playing when they were 9-0 down at half-time in a Scottish League Cup tie?

FORTY VISIONS: Freezing. Miserable. Dumbarton on a dull, dreich day. What you need is some lively music to cheer you up. The Sons DJ puts on a CD which obviously had a problem. The familiar opening guitar riff of Queen’s One Vision strikes up. The problem we had was that the CD was stuck and we had not One Vision, but several Visions- over and over and over again. The DJ was obviously elsewhere as the stuck CD drove everyone to distraction.

MYSTERY PIC: Can you name the player above who is telling the keeper where the penalty is going?