Benchman: The Time Warp Principle

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The Benchman has turned his attention to the Euro’s and has taken in some games from a well-known Falkirk hostelry.

THAT BALE FREE KICK

In the left hand corner of the upstairs bar in Behind The Wall there is a unique collection of sages, philosophers, analysts and lateral thinkers. While the country tried hard to analyze that Gareth Bale free kick against Slovakia, the guys had the answer. It was the Time-warp Principle. The Slovakian keeper took a jump to the left, then a step to the right. What he forgot was to put his hands on his hips and bring his knees in tight. He forgot the pelvic thrust. And as one said - ‘that really drives me insane’.

SEEING DOUBLE

Still on that opening Welsh game- what about Ashley Williams as a lookalike for the great Ivor Allchurch? Same size, build and hair-line.

PUB QUIZ TEAM NAMES

A great name for a quiz team- Two Beers and Two Haufs. The story of how it came about is hilarious. One of the aforementioned sages in BTW drew Oliver Bierhoff is a sweep-stake for the scorer of the winning goal and the German was the scorer of the first ever Golden Goal in the 1996 Euro Final. The player was then immortalised as Beer- Hauf. Classic.

THE UGLY GAME

After the Hibs-Rangers Final, we have the fighting in Marseilles. It really is a worrying trend as we try to promote Football as a Family Sport, and UEFA promotes anti-racism initiatives while urging Respect. It was a sad, sad spectacle and the result of a dangerous cocktail of alcohol, xenophobia, intolerance and some sinister elements. It wasn’t “exuberance”, but was an exposure of elements in our society that are starting to worry many people.

FLAGGING INTEREST

The odd Saltire was seen in several stadiums as the tournament progressed. It only served as a reminder of what might have been if Scotland had been there. Look at all those red Welsh tops in the crowd last Saturday and the flags. It is worrying to see what has happened to our country in footballing terms. The manager says that the friendlies against Italy and France were a mistake. Yes.

MANAGER OR HEAD COACH

There was a fascinating interview with Steve McLaren on BBC Radio Five Live about his time at St.James. Who picked the players, who signed the players, who did the players THINK was running the club? The 2015/16 season at Newcastle could make a fascinating case study.

SIMPLY THE BEST

Not a ball has been kicked and not a signing made. Yet some Hibs fans are already hailing Neil Lennon as their best manager since Jock Stein. They would do well to remember where Big Jock went after his success at Easter Road.

ANSWERS

Last week’s mystery player was Jim Rowan and Falkirk played Dunfermline in the 2009 semi-final.

TEASER

From which club did Falkirk sign Richard Cadette?

NINE IN A ROW

England have now failed to win their opening game in the last nine tournaments in which they have participated.