Becnhman: Male ‘stripper’ delays kick-off at Falkirk’s Ladies Day game!

Mystery picture: Recognise anyone here?
Mystery picture: Recognise anyone here?

Our observer was checking his watch on Saturday as the game kicked off at 3.04pm. But why?

Good to see Kieran back in action again after a lengthy time out of the game after injury. With Scotland under 21 honours to his credit, a bright future in the game had seemed assured. East Fife took a chance on him and he came on for the last 17 minutes against Queens Park on Saturday.

THE MOST INTERESTING LEAGUE?

Compared to the predictable boredom of the top flight, the Championship is by far the most interesting Scottish division. It’s a real roller-coaster ride and there are still lots to play for. At the bottom, Jack Ross has worked wonders at St.Mirren and their Great Escape is very much still on. Attendances at games are often equal to or better than some games in the top league. There is no need for a meaningless split and every team-on its day- can beat any other team.

HANDBAGS-GATE

It is a boxing promoter’s dream. A return clash of two street-fighters, who feel they were robbed in the first encounter. For Madison Square Gardens read Cappielow and for Frazier-Ali read Duffy-Lennon. The best of 15 rounds for the Championship of the Championship. The winner will face David Haye in a title unification bout.

DÉJÀ VU?

The St Johnstone Civil War brought back memories of another stramash between colleagues. It happened at Starks Park and the culprits were the Hearts centre-backs Craig Levein and Graeme Hogg, both given red cards for fighting. Fast forward to 2017 and St Johnstone’s Danny Swanson and Richard Foster repeat the folly.Would love to be a fly on the wall when Tommy Wright got hold of the miscreants.

STRIPPER DELAYS START

Kick-off was delayed to allow Raith’s Ryan Hardie to leave the park and remove his under garment. Thankfully, Dave McIntosh didn’t have time to play David Rose’s classic “The Stripper” which had been mentioned on Off the Ball only an hour beforehand.

LADIES DAY

The waft of Chanel and Dior threatened to overpower the gentlemen of the third estate sitting in the front row of the press-box. Conversations ranged from Botox to nail extensions and everything else in-between. The ladies were talking about these things as well.

ALLITERATIVE ASSAULTS

A Charlton fan in court for elbowing an eagle. A Newcastle fan jailed for hitting a horse. Whatever next? Watch out Fergus.

ANSWERS

Last week’s mystery man was ex-Dundee and Spurs centre forward John Duncan. Alan Irvine moved to Liverpool.

TEASER

Which two of the 1957 Falkirk cup-winning team went on to manage senior club sides?

BENCHMARKS

Match rating: 6

Team rating: 7

Opposition: 6

Referee: Walsh 5

Best Bairn: Peter Grant