The Benchman reckons there will be few Scottish football journalists relishing covering the Premiership next season given the games on offer in the league below.
KEANE AS MUSTARD: Take a chance on me? Roy’s track record is a wee bit short of form and fans at Sunderland and Ipswich were less than enamoured by his managerial ability. Direct, forthright and forceful- yes. But adaptable, intuitive and motivational?
THE PLACE TO BE? Watch the media guys suddenly change their schedules for next season. Now then, we can cover Partick v Ross County up in Dingwall on Friday night or we could do Hearts v Hibs on Saturday. What do you think? It should be a very exciting league and all that is missing are our derbies against The Pars.
BUT FEAR ITSELF: As Franklin D. Roosevelt once said: we have nothing to fear except fear itself. You could reach out and touch the fear at Easter Road for the Hibs v Hamilton game. It drifted down from the stands where the home support were panic-stricken despite their two-goal first leg lead. All credit to Accies, who took the game to them and knew they would crumble. I’ve never seen a team of players fold like that.
STEVIE CRAWFORD: Good Luck to Stevie as he heads off down Gorgie way. He did a good job for Falkirk and the strikers certainly blossomed under his guidance.
THE PHILOSOPHER KING: Joey Barton? What lunatic thought he could be an asset on Question Time? He was billed as Football’s Philosopher King and proceeded to make a complete fool of himself when he gave his opinion of the major political parties. The best of four ugly girls. Joey, pal- open mouth, think, speak. Stick to making a twit of yourself on Twitter.
WE HAD A DREAM: Was it really 1998 that we were last at the World Cup party? Glorious - and not so glorious - failure to break through. The Nearly Team is one tag we could dispense with. There are real signs that under Gordon Strachan we might be on the way back. Not before time.
ANSWERS: Last week’s picture showed Billy Bremner attacking a Zaire defender from the opening game in West Germany in 1974. Bairns players who are in the Hall of Fame are Alex Ferguson, John White, Willie Ormond, Jimmy Delaney, Mo Johnston and Craig Brown.
TEASER: Which goalkeepers, who have been Falkirk players at one time or another, have been in Scotland squads in World Cup finals?
WORST EVER TEAM: Fascinating programme the other night when they picked the worst ever England team. There were some real howlers in the line-up. Who would be in the Scotland equivalent?
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST: Mike Ashley wants to make money by getting into European football. Plan A: spend multi-millions to get Newcastle into the top four in England. Plan B: buy a sleeping giant of a Scottish club for a fraction of that cost and get there in two easy steps.