I’m not one to talk about my neighbours.
However, I really don’t have a problem talking about other people’s.
My poor elderly aunt lives across the road from the most inconsiderate people I think I have ever met.
They are a terrible bunch, a motley crew, as my mum remarks.
They make a lot of noise, have wild parties and generally care about no-one except themselves.
There are two young boys who obviously attend the school of trouble making.
The first time I visited the street not long after my aunt moved in, they asked me if I wanted them to “watch” my car?
Seemingly, they were offering to guard my vehicle in case any unsavoury characters started sniffing around it.
I told them that I refused to pay them the requested amount of £2 when I believed that that horse had already bolted.
“You should have paid it, Kate!,” my son-in-law said the next day. “Everyone knows you shouldn’t offend them. Better pay £2 today than pay for a re-spray later.”
Anyway, my car survived and I’ve still not paid a penny, but I do believe they have a steady stream of clients.
However, now the Christmas lights have gone up and they look awful.
They are not stylish or even cheerful - they look like rejects from one of those seedy nightclubs in Ibiza.
They flash constantly, twice a second, and are driving my dear old aunt to distraction - or at least to sherry.
She was sitting watching ‘Strictly’ on Saturday night and then her curtains started to glow with the lights across the road.
The poor dear even asked if my son could stop by to move her TV to the other end of the room to avoid the glare.
I’ve decided that next time I visit, I will pay for my car to be “watched”, but only if the cash goes into a Christmas lights replacement fund.
Perhaps as well as slipping them the money, I’ll hand over the latest M&S catalogue to show them how a real Christmas window should look.
Or is that too cheeky, do you think?