Why is it that, if you have a reason to go shopping, you can never find what you are looking for, but if you have no money and no need to shop the stores are brimming with potential purchases?
This year I have six weddings to attend – all within eight weeks of each other.
So that is six weddings, six gifts, six trips to the hairdresser to try to settle on an acceptable style and potentially six outfits to buy.
Yes, I might have a few dresses in my wardrobe but everyone has seen them. That is one of the many problems with having a Facebook account.
So I hit the shops in Glasgow last weekend with my mum and daughter Emma in an attempt to find at least a couple of new wedding outfits.
I had spied a few lovely dresses in the lead-up to Christmas, but, with every spare penny going on presents, I had to hope they were available once my bank account looked less peely wally.
Of course, the clothes I had earmarked had long gone, replaced with a thousands dresses that are too tight, too short or too ugly.
We were shopping for eight hours and I couldn’t find a single thing.
I must have been in 100 changing rooms, each more ghastly lit than the last.
I’m sure the shops have started making their clothes neater in a bid to beat the recession as it also appears I’m a size bigger than I thought I was ... unless the over-stuffed sausage look is in for 2014.
After dozens of shops, I was in a young fashion store for Emma to have a look when she pulled out a beautiful knee-length dress in just my colour.
I rushed to the changing room to find that, not only did it fit, but it looked flattering too.
However, I exited to be faced with a gorgeous teenager also trying on the same dress, but five sizes smaller.
All of a sudden I didn’t feel so glamorous in the frock so I returned it to the rails and hit the nearest wine bar for a much-needed refreshment.