About now, many of us are writing Christmas cards to friends and family.
In some cases this is the only contact we have them year in and year out.
A folded piece of colourful card bearing a seasonal message.
And how many times do we write ‘hope to see you in the new year’? But do we fulfil this promise?
Months and years pass and we lose touch with old school friends, people who were once work colleagues we saw every day, family members we now only see at weddings and funerals and often people who live a few miles away but we just never get round to seeing. Why?
Often the reason is that the only thing you had in common with, say, work colleagues is that you had the same employer.
Even if you went out for a drink after work, you would talk only about the job. So there is nothing to preserve the relationship when the job ends.
And, just because you are related to someone, it doesn’t mean you share more than a surname.
They say that ‘friends are the family we choose for ourselves’, so there is nothing wrong with finding that you prefer the company of hand-picked friends to the obligatory time spent with family.
But don’t forget about family. The longer you spend out of touch, the harder it is to pick up the phone to them.
Sometimes we lose touch because we are not sure someone WANTS to hear from us. We think that if they did they would call us. Or maybe an attempt at meeting up failed, they had to cancel, so you take it the wrong way and assume they don’t want to see you. But what if they are thinking the same? So is this a low self esteem issue or just laziness? Do we just assume those people are far too busy to keep in touch or have ‘moved on’? All these assumptions and conclusions being drawn with no real evidence.
Instead if making new year resolutions about dieting or giving up smoking, why not resolve to meet up with people you haven’t seen for ages?
Maybe even arrange a reunion of former colleagues or schoolfriends. Or go on a trip and meet up with relatives who are less mobile than you? They might not be there for ever so do it while you can.