With little girls being raised on stories like Cinderella and Snow White where the princess wins her prince charming, it stands to reason they grow up looking for the man of their dreams.
Boys on the other hand, are often invariably inspired by action heroes seeking to save the fair maidens.
So is it any wonder that young people go out looking for ‘love’, often with little regard to whether or not they are well suited or have shared interests, far less if they honestly think they could live happily with that person for the next 50 years.
Sometimes people spend longer choosing a home, a car or even the right pair of shoes than they do picking a partner.
So relationships end and it’s often the case that being on ones own causes more distress than the actual loss of the other person. Some people go back to a previous partner rather than deal with life on their own.
So what do you do? If you shared a home, it’s likely that one of you may have to stay there to honour the terms of a lease or mortgage but why not get a friend to move in to share the costs. They will also be a valuable companion to help you over the difficult times after a separation.
Don’t hide from your feelings, let them out, there’s nothing wrong with crying and pouring your heart out to whomever will listen.
As with anything that pains us, the passage of time really does help you come to terms with what’s happened and hopefully understand why it did. Regrets are pointless as no force on earth can turn the clocks back, but you can look forward and determine not to make the same mistakes again.
And if it means you are on your own for a while, what’s wrong with that?
So, rather than immediately go looking for someone new, look at it as an opportunity to do all those things you didn’t do as part of a couple. Are there friends you have missed seeing, interests you haven’t pursued, holidays you haven’t taken?
How much time have you spent just tagging along, or not doing what you wanted to do as your partner wasn’t keen? Have you sacrificed career opportunities? This could turn out to be the new start you need, so make the most of it.