It’s a sport that’s simultaneously growing in popularity and expanding the waistbands of those who are foolish enough to try it.
Yes, it’s the heart attack-inducing and ultimately pointless world of competitive eating. Imagine the biggest meal you’ve ever had, double it, and trying to consume it in under 30 minutes - all in front of a baying audience.
Sick? There’s a high chance. A live spectacle that otherwise sane people will pay to see? You bet.
Unsurprisingly, it’s an idea that originated across the pond; joining a long list of great American exports such as Richard Nixon, the electric chair and 24-hour news channels.
Last month, one Randy Santel of St Louis, Missouri – described by some over-excited individuals as an “Internet and TV sensation” – went on a national food challenge tour of some of the UK’s biggest cities. And Glenrothes.
According to reports smuggled out from deepest Central Fife, Randy easily defeated the local challenger by polishing off a 40oz meat feast in 29 minutes.
I hail from West Fife, and might view anything north of Inverkeithing as bandit country, but I still know the good people of the new town well enough to be disappointed that the Glenrothes contender couldn’t take down the American champ.
You might not think the former coalfields of the Kingdom are a hotbed of culinary expertise, but I know different.
After all, it gave us the ‘Ballingry Big Mac’ – that’s a Scotch pie encased in a buttered roll.
If you think that’s bad, I knew a man who would only eat pizza if it was placed between two bits of bread. And there’s not an ounce of fat on him.