I won’t be shedding too many tears for our men

Kate Livingstone
Kate Livingstone

I read an interesting story in one of the Sunday newspapers which I’d like to share with you.

I’m not sure whether or not I have the tone of the article correct or not, but it seemed to be saying that the following was a shocking fact – a quarter of men go to concerts and movies they hate just to keep their wives and girlfriends happy.’

Really? A quarter?

The article continued: ‘‘Men admit that they endure rom-com films and girlie concerts just to avoid a row with their partners.’’

Poor wee scones.

I wonder if the government has an army of counsellors on stand-by, poised to deal with these tormented men who must be terrorised by nightmares of Jennifer Aniston and Gary Barlow.

Imagine, spending an evening with the women you purport to love, sitting in a comfy chair and stuffing your face with popcorn and Minstrels.

Heaven forbid.

What agonies men do suffer, I hadn’t realised.

But there’s another article I’d like to share with you, if I may.

Although I have penned it myself, you can be rest assured of its accuracy.

Here goes: ‘‘Almost 100 per cent of women cook, clean and tidy up after the man they live with.

‘‘Shocking new statistics have revealed that wives and girlfriends across the country regularly make the dinner and iron clothes that do not belong to them.

‘‘The research also shows that one in two women live with men who have never cleaned the bathroom, loaded the washing machine or changed the bed sheets.

‘‘Last night, a UN spokesman said: “We suspect that these figures only scratch the surface.

‘“There are also fears that, even if men do carry out any domestic chores, most are secretly redone by women.’’

All right, I’ll shut-up now, but hopefully you get the point.

But just one final word to the menfolk out there: take an interest the next time your lady wants to see something.

There could be a happily-ironed shirt in it for you, at least.