Get the vodka in ... for a ticking off

Kate Livingstone
Kate Livingstone
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We’ve had one or two little surprises in the Livingstone family in the past week.

Actually, let me be more specific - we’ve had some black surprises on our little ones.

It started last week when my grandson was staying overnight to let my daughter go to some concert – could have been Take That, I’m not sure.

I love having him at bedtime – getting him in the bath, then all cosy in clean pyjamas and then watching him get all sleepy during a story.

Anyway, after school he was really filthy so I stripped him and popped him in the tub.

“Did you hurt yourself in the playground today?” I asked, noticing a dark, red mark on his chest.

“Nope,” he answered as he splashed water everywhere.

As I was bringing some towels out the cupboard, he shouted: “It’s a creature, it’s a creature, gran.”

“No, it’s just a scrape,” I said, “The bath will clean it.”

“It’s a thing, it has legs.”

“Oh right,” I said, dismissing it completely.

Anyway, it was only when I was wrapping the towel round his body that my failing eyesight got a better look.

Yip, it had legs alright, and a head and it was hanging from him.

“Wait there, Jack,” I said in my casual, this-isn’t-a-problem voice.

I ran to my bedroom, grabbed the tweezers and pulled the wee blighter off before flushing it away.

I put some cream on him and tucked him up in bed, and sent my daughter a bizarre text message.

Anyway, the next day at work, after many Google searches and a few horror stories from my colleagues, turns out it was a tick – and turns out you shouldn’t pull them off with tweezers.

So after I had been scared to death about tales of Lyme disease and these things laying eggs, I told my daughter to get Jack checked out.

In the end all was well, and he’s absolutely fine.

Incidentally, if this ever happens to you, the medical advice is to drown the ‘creature’ in vodka, so, as a responsible granny, I quickly stocked the house with Smirnoff.

Anyway, this week Jack’s school reported an outbreak of nits, so more little black things are sure to be on the way.

Think I’ll give bedtimes a miss for a few weeks.